Lesson:
Engage
Tell students to imagine this scenario: A friend comes to them and tells them that they are having a difficult time deciding what to do after high school. Your friend wants to go to college, but she prefers to stay relatively close to home so she can save money by living with her parents. She would ideally like a school no more than 30 minutes away. There are several colleges that are close, but none of them offer the major that your friend wants to study. There is a fantastic college on the other side of the state that offers the major your friend is looking for, but it is considerably farther than she would like. Additionally, she has the opportunity to work directly after high school at the local newspaper, so she is considering skipping college altogether. She likes the idea of earning some money right away, but she has little interest in that particular job, and knows she is likely to make much more money in the long-term if she goes to college first. Between the local colleges close to home, the great college farther away, or going straight into work, she doesn’t know what to do. She comes to you for advice—what would you say?
Now ask students: What was it like to listen to your friend’s scenario and give her advice? Did you feel stressed to find the right words to say? Or was it fun to help your friend in this way? Was it difficult for you to decide what to do, or did your ideas flow easily?
Tell students that when one person asks another for advice, both can win. The person asking advice can obviously benefit because they get to hear new ideas, and they might have new ways of thinking about their scenarios after hearing outside perspective. But the person giving advice benefits, too! For one, most people enjoy giving advice, and we find it easier to give advice to others than to grapple with our own problems because when we help others we are more detached. Plus, when you give advice to others, you may learn something that could be applicable to other decisions you have to face, even if they are entirely different scenarios.
Ask students: As good as it is to give advice to others, how often do you seek advice from others? Most of us love the opportunity to weigh in on someone else’s decision, but we don’t seek advice for our own situations nearly as much as we should. And that’s a shame! We lose the opportunity to gain insights, and we prevent our friends from getting the benefit of giving advice. In today’s lesson, we’re going to talk about (and practice!) seeking advice from others.
Tell students there’s another benefit to seeking advice that is related to the topic of self-regulation. When we seek the advice of others, it causes us to take a break. Instead of acting on impulse, we tell ourselves we’re going to check in with someone first. And that is tremendously valuable!
Play this video for students. If unable to play the video, consider printing this article for them instead.
Tell students that in the video (or article), the speaker stressed targeting the right person for your feedback requests. Sometimes, you’ll want to target a friend or family member (someone who knows you best). Other times, you’ll want to ask someone with a particular subject matter expertise. To practice this skill, consider the following scenarios and identify who you would go to for advice:
- You and your best friend are in an argument over who gets to decide what to do each weekend.
- Your math grade is lower than you’d like it to be on your progress report.
- You aren’t sure what classes to sign up for next semester.
- You’re a runner and you’d like to get faster.
- You’d like to start playing the piano but have no previous experience with music.
- You think that when you’re older you’d like to try making money on the stock market, but you aren’t really sure how the stock market works.
- You’ve been experiencing stomach aches recently.
- You have a new romantic interest and aren’t sure how to approach the situation.
- You would like a part-time job at the grocery store.
- You noticed that lately you’ve been listening to the same music over and over again and you’d like to learn about great new artists who you’ve never heard before.
Now, give students the opportunity to get feedback from others. Have students independently jot down a scenario to get feedback on. It is best if they come up with an actual scenario they are facing. Alternatively, students can create a mock scenario. Then, pair students up and have them ask feedback from each other. Afterwards, lead a group discussion about what it felt like to gain and give feedback.
